I often speak to audiences comprised of older adults. It is always a joy for me to hear their enthusiastic response to presentations about history! Just as enjoyable for me, however, is listening to their stories.
In 2012 I did a presentation about the âDoolittle Raidâ from World War II. The audience included over 60 veterans of the Second World War. I took the stage after receiving a flattering introduction and said, “I should be sitting out in the audience and taking notes about each of your stories.”
I wasn’t kidding. And I wasn’t being flattering.
As I edit this some ten years later, most of those veterans have left us.
One of the things that comes with age is a greater sense of perspective.
When I speak to audiences comprised of older adults, I ask a question:
“How many of you had at least one grandparent that you remember with great love and warmth and happiness?”
I watch the smiles as hands are raised after that question. Then I ask one more:
“If I could bring that grandparent back for one day, in perfect health, and with no pain at saying goodbye again, how many of you wish that you could talk to them one more time?”
Inevitably, every hand stays up.
Why is that?
The answer may be deeper than you initially realize. For many, they long to hear just one 
more time the stories they heard as a child but did not fully understand.Â
Here’s what I know. I can remember my wise grandfather talking about his life during the Great Depression, but I was 13 when he passed. If I could talk to him again, how much more would I understand now? I have no doubt that I could be a better parent, a better husband, and a better speaker if he was able to tell me the stories one more time.
Is this ringing a chord for you?
If so, there is something you can do about it!
No, I don’t have the secret for communicating with those who have left us. But I have something just as good!
Record yourself telling your stories to children or grandchildren. They may not âget itâ now, but I promise you in the years and decades and generations to come they will. It will be something they treasure more than any money or inheritance you can leave.
Doubt me?
How dearly would YOU love to have such a recording of your grandparents? Â
You may feel that your life
has not been extraordinary enough to warrant a history book, but your personal history becomes the fabric of the lives of the generations to follow you. I do not, unfortunately, remember every story my dear grandfather told me, but his love and wisdom influenced me. It also influenced the parents who raised me. And it influences my young children who will never have met him.
TELL YOUR STORY!
Tell all the stories that make you laugh, tell the stories of the times you got knocked on your butt and had to learn something important from it. Tell the stories that shaped the lives of your children and grandchildren. Even if you are not yet a grandparent (I am at least 15 years away from it myself) tell your story.
It may seem artificial to speak with a video camera, but who cares? If I could give you such 
 a tape of your grandparents, would the aesthetics of it be what concerned you? Of course not! Just tell your story to the people you love. Once you get on a roll, you’ll forget about the camera. And if you make a mistake, who cares?
Memory is an important part of shaping who we are. Our memories were created, in part, by people we never met, people who are long gone, and people we may only dimly remember. But memory is a vital, dynamic part of our personality. Make sure that the generations that follow you have access to your memories.
My grandfather never attended high school, but he was about the most intelligent man I ever met. If only on tape, I’d love to have him talk to me again. And it would be such a joy to show it to my children and, someday, have them show it to their children. I reflect often on The Importance Of Telling Your Story – Why Oral History Matters.
I was a high school teacher for many years. From time to time, a student would have their parent or grandparent come into the classroom if we were studying something with which they had a personal experience. When the students would ask, âdo I get extra credit?â I would always respond:Â âI am going to give you something worth much, much more than extra credit.”
I would give them a videotape of their grandparents speaking. Over the years, I have received e-mails from many students who have lost a grandparent that they love but have a tape of that beloved person speaking, smiling, laughing, and answering questions. They always thank me. And none has ever said I ripped them off by not giving them extra credit.
Tell your story.
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You are absolutely correct, Barry. I think this is such an important concept. I haven’t done it yet but thanks for the reminder.
Lorraine,
It is so important! The stories cannot be replaced and once they are gone, they are gone forever. None of us are promised tomorrow; but we can preserve part of yesterday for future generations.
Hi Barry, I have a treasured book written by my Grandfather’s Grandmother (5th generation) entitled “Remembrances of a Pioneer”. One of that grandmothers’ daughters wrote a story of her life describing the home she grew up in and even the kinds of flowers that grew in the garden. My aunt, age 99, has written her story which I also have. Even though I don’t have their voices, I do have the written word which is a treasure. At my age I should be recording my story.
Sue
Sue,
I know your family would treasure your stories from one generation to the next, as you love “Remembrances Of A Pioneer.” There is no need to delay and no advantage in doing so. Gather your grandchildren and tape yourself talking to them! And won’t it tickle THEIR children someday to see not only you but their mom and dad when they were much younger!
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Barry, this is something I have planned to do, but have put off. The other day, after telling something that happened with my mom, my son said, “why don’t you write those things down? You are a good writer and you spend time just fooling around on Facebook, when you could be writing things about your life and other stories like this.” True.
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THE REST IS FOR BARRY(didn’t know post was for all. too uninteresting and long. above ok ??)
I tried to get my mother and her two sisters when all three were still living and spending time together to record their visits and re-tell stories that I had only heard bits and pieces of and barely remembered. Of course, the reason being that I probably didn’t really listen when I was younger. At that time, I began to realize their past was history and really interesting; of course they did not record it, nor did they write anything down for me either.
My mom was so interesting, worked in DC during WWI for VA and didn’t marry until late, was 42 when I was born -she was only sister to leave Beatrice, NE where her father was mayor for 12 years – city commissioner before that, big in Masons, etc. Taught school after Peru Normal School and did NOT like it, etc. If I could only talk to her now — a BOOK IS THERE. (her boss in DC became GOV. of NE later on. My parents played bridge with them. I met him again in college on a date at a party date’s dad had to attend for him–he was unbelieving that I was “all grown up” Bee’s daughter and that kid had “better treat me right!” Well, yes. I will start writing. I never give a quick answer, so there will be much cutting. I have found some ltrs. my dad wrote my mom and one from another beau after she told him she was getting married. Trying to remember some of the stories. My poor 80 yr. old brain. I can’t even remember where I left my phone half the time. mjk Don’t know how to do/create a blog, but will find out one of these days. mjk OH NO…THIS IS FOR YOU NOT TO POST FOR OTHER PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!
Marilyn –
Your story is fascinating! I agree with your son – do not hesitate another minute before beginning to record your stories! You said, “I tried to get my mother and her two sisters when all three were still living and spending time together to record their visits and re-tell stories that I had only heard bits and pieces of and barely remembered.” DO you want your children and grandchildren saying that about you?
Don’t worry about remembering everything or telling it all chronologically. You are a marvelous storyteller. DOn’t keep your memories to yourself! :)
i promised myself long ago to writie a family history that my three children and nine grandchildren to have —- I haven’t started it yet, but you gave me new impetus.
Larry –
Thank you for your support of my programs! Please do not waste another minute before starting this project. You and your family will be grateful for generations to come!
Barry
Barry,
This is a great article and reminder that I plan to share on my FB page. I started my business out of my own regret at not sitting down with my three great grandmothers I had the privilege to know through my teen years and then loosing my two grandfathers over the course of my early twenties. I decided I didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity to record my grandmothers stories and did just that. Spending a week with each of them asking them every question under the sun changed both my life and theirs for the better. Now that I am a mom, I’m so relieved to know that when my daughter is old enough to be curious about her great grandmothers (whom she is lucky enough to know) we already have their personal and family histories recorded. And I am grateful every day that I have the privilege of doing the inspired work I do in helping other families capture their family stories as well. For any of your readers that need help getting started I have a great DIY free packet with interview questions and tips that they can get by contacting me through my website, legacyconnectionsfilms.com.
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I read in the Daily Herald about an individual Peter Arens, who started a business interviewing/videotaping people regarding their life stories. Itâs in McHenry & itâs called âStorySave Productions.â
Thanks for all you do & wonderful talks you give!
Thank you!
This sounds like such a neat way of continuation of the holiday spirit. I will try it this year.
Jan,
I hope you do! Update me on the experience!
Barry