The Day Audra McDonald Fixed My Daughter’s Ponytail

In 2004, on a gloomy day, I took my daughter EJ—who was then about two and a half—to Northbrook Court Mall, which many of you know is rarely crowded. They had a little treehouse play area for toddlers. We walked in, and there was only one other little girl playing there. She was the same age as E.J. Naturally, the two of them teamed up to run around and giggle like old friends.

I turned to the girl’s mom, who was standing nearby, and said, “Hi, I’m Barry, and that’s my daughter EJ. Has anyone ever told you that you look exactly like Audra McDonald?”

She smiled warmly  and said, “Well, since that’s the name my parents gave me, I’ve actually heard that quite a bit.”

I just stood there for a second. There she was—Audra McDonald—in a half-empty suburban mall, being exactly what she always comes across as: gracious, smart, and down-to-earth.

We did what parents do in that situation—we chit-chatted. She was wearing a John Kerry button, and we talked about politics, our kids, the weather, and my work in history. The girls were having a blast, so we decided to sit down. She was surprised I recognized her; I was still surprised she was in that obscure mall.

She watched the girls while I ran to grab her a coffee and myself a hot chocolate. I picked up some pretzels for everyone. It was the kind of interaction you dream about having with someone famous—easy, warm, and human. And she was just that.

As we packed up to leave, she noticed EJ’s ponytail slipping out and reached down to fix it—definitely not one of Dad’s specialties. My daughter, ever polite, said, “Thank you, Miss McDonald,” and Audra turned to her own daughter and said, “Say thank you to Mr. Bradford—he got us treats!” Zoe was as polite as she was energetic.

I’d love to say that a lifelong friendship ensued. It didn’t. But Audra McDonald often speaks about how close she is with her daughter, Zoe, who frequently joins her at the Tonys and other award shows. And EJ? She loves to point to those photos and say, “There’s my old friend!”

It was one of those unexpected, joyful moments you never forget—not because I met a star, but because I met a kind, warm mother who just happened to be one of the greatest performers of our time.